SLEEPING LIKE A BABY?

Yesterday, which was June 28, Bella slept longer than I did for the first time ever. She went to sleep at 7:30 the night before and woke up to eat a little more at 8:30. I went to bed about 11 p.m. and woke up at 7 a.m. She was still asleep and didn't wake up until 8 a.m. - when she ate 6 ounces from a bottle.

This was a pleasant surprise as she had been going to bed very late at night all week, simply refusing to close her eyes before 10 p.m. Then Jen flew up to Pennsylvania and New York to see our new nephew, Travis, and go to a wedding. So it was just baby and daddy all weekend. Things went great, and it was awesome to spend so much time with her after being back at work for a month.

She can play by herself now, keeping herself entertained for a while. And we also bought a Jumperoo gizmo that allows her to jump up and down and spin around (slowly) and play with "rain forest" animals all around the edge of the contraption. After a month of that, she's still enjoying it. And we removed the art book she originally had to stand on to fit the jumperoo.

Our little girl is growing up. She's six months old now and no longer fits in any of her original clothes. We've been lucky that our friends Holly and Matt have two girls, Lila and Mia, and are able to give us bags of cute clothes for Bella. And we've passed on a lot of Bella's small clothes to Jen's sister, Stephanie, and her friend, Naomi, who's pregnant.

Bella also has a new friend named Holden Young, Ben and Temple's little boy, who was born on May 22. He's so cute, got lots of dark black hair, and looks like Ben.

With me back at work for a little while, Fred and Elizabeth are coming down Sunday night to sit with Bella on Mondays and Tuesdays. They thorouhgly enjoy it, make up songs to sing with her, and are starting to venture out with her in the stroller. Jen stays home to work on Wednesdays, though how much actual "work" she gets done, I don't know. And on Thursdays and Fridays, an Agnes Scott student named Morgan comes to sit with Bella. Morgan is a star on the Scotties basketball team, and seems to working out well with Bella and vice versa.

12 WEEKS LATER

Well, here it is June 6. My last day of paternity leave. I return to the paper on Monday, leaving Bella with her grandparents on Mondays and Tuesdays, Jen on Wednesdays and Morgan Smith, an Agnes Scott student we hired to nanny, on Thursdays and Fridays. And I return with mixed emotions.

On the one hand I am ready for a little change of scenery and schedule - even if it means driving two hours every day and working on deadline again. There have been times in the last two weeks when I found myself close of wit's end: enough drool, enough fussiness, enough cleaning house, enough back straining while I pick up a 15-pound baby or stoop over to retrieve something with her in my arms.

On the other hand, it is hard to leave her. When Morgan came in for a half day yesterday to get acquainted with Bella's routine I was relieved to see her smiling at Morgan and enjoying being in her company. But deep down I was also hoping Bella would fuss and kick and scream and want her to be in her daddy's arms again. Jen hears me say all this with a knowing smile on her face. She's been back at work for three months now and it isn't getting any easier for her to leave Bella in the morning. And she's envious of the way Bella looks at me even when mommy is home.

But, I keep telling myself, this will only be for two months. I will leave my career at the Jackson Progress-Argus and be home with our child again in August.

And I wouldn't give up these past 12 weeks for anything. This time has taught me so much about parenthood - motherhood and fatherhood - and about myself and what I am capable of. I can do better. In all things. Our little girl has shown me that I have so much more to give and do, and I thank her for that even though she just wants me to give her a bottle and be quiet for a few minutes so she can eat.